In these woods for half a year I try to take my small flame to every dark corner, to explore the rot in every cave and stump.
I need to prepare, I repeat. I need to see all the forkings ahead.
After losing so many moons looking in the dirt it becomes hard to see anything else. Everything looks like mud or danger. But doesn’t every leaf have two faces –
The rough one with countless mouths and the green one seeking light?
If you always seek the worst, you told me, then by definition you discard everything else. I grow more eyes to see by darkness, by other light, predators, beauty.
Let’s curb optimism and fatalism, you repeat. There has to be another way.
These woods are vast and dark. I will find a way out one day, to fields of corn and apples. And for now, I will live here, I will survive on rainwater and wild strawberries.
You might think to make yourself small. They’ll make you feel ashamed for sharing colorful ideas.
But when the rains begin to fall, they’ll come asking for you.
You might feel the need to stay silent. Trust is a luxury and yours has been spent on lottery tickets for someone else.
But when the rains fall and the floodwaters begin to roll in, they’ll come asking for you.
You might have to hide. Draw little eyes on ping pong balls so they think you never sleep and draw a little mouth that makes the same sounds they do.
But when the rains fall and the floodwaters roll in and the sea begins to lick at their feet, they’ll come asking for you.
You might feel you need to run. That things aren’t tolerable any longer and it’s better to take a chance on parts unknown than to risk another minute on this freight train ouroborus.
And when the rains fall and the floodwaters roll in and the sea swallows them and they begin to feel the weight of their chains in the icy depths, they’ll wonder how you could have forsaken them.